Poetry Shmoetry

So from time to time in life, I come to a point where I feel the need to express myself. It's this instant desire to materialize my innermost thoughts and feelings, while sparing the details and trivial nothings that keep me up at night. Sometimes this might come across via paint on a canvas, or hastily drawn words on the ocean's shore between waves. Though occasionally, generally while sitting alone in a quiet room, I just start putting words to paper. Line, after line, after line... No rhyming, often no sense, just words as they come. It might not make sense to others, but it reads to me of those times in my life where I couldn't escape my own mind...

Here are just a few from the past:


01/05/2010

Countless minutes spent gazing at my own reflection,
I cannot help but care what you think of me.
Sadly you are not here to see my painted face,
Wasted away on your absent eyes.

I hear the creak of your office door,
Instantly perking up has become my routine.
Forgetting you are not in for the day,
I sit expectant for what will not come.

Your shy smile and wave stop my breath,
Flushing my porcelain face pink with delight.
Ah, but the memory must suffice for today,
Tiding me over 'til your return come 'morrow.


12/30/09

Sullenly sitting,
My expectations too high.
Should I have seen it coming?
If only you weren't so hard to read.

Tethered to my pride,
I fail to see what I lack.
I am left crippled by inquisition,
Examining the possibilities of what I do not possess.

The day is now gone,
Reality being far from what I had hoped.
Sorry I am for what did not transpire,
Through thankful for an answer to the constant wonder.

Too long I admired you from afar,
Not soon enough did I make my move.
I can't say I expected the circumstance to change,
But dwell not on what I cannot control.


07/09/08

I can see your weakness, I always have.
Alone, bitter, self-pitying destruction.
Why can't you ever say it to my face?
Threatening to take me to court if I open my mouth to defend myself?
Telling my own father you wish I were dead?
Let's see that brazen attitude in the flesh.

Corrupting vulnerable minds to satisfy your own agenda.
At your age, shouldn't you be above all this?
But it's what you thrive on.
Lies, exaggerations, blatant untruths spit out as fact.
If only you didn't prey on the feeble and the weak.

You say you never want to see my face again.
Did you expect this to hurt me?
Surely you didn't think I'd miss your strangling manipulation.
I laugh at your inability to see reality.
To see that at the end of the day, no matter what you do,
You're still a miserable old spinster without a single person who cares.

The thing that does bother me is that you had to drag her down with you.
You took the person I love most and brainwashed her,
Making her believe the evil thoughts you so gleefully thrive on.
She's now a puppet who whole-heartedly accepts the venomous lies she is being fed.
Keep taking the undeserved credit you currently demand.
You'll be the one with blood on your hands in the end.

Tell me, what is it that fuels your hateful rage?
Your disdain for me has always been thinly veiled.
What have I ever done to deserve your unhinged wrath?
I'll never understand why you are like this.
Why you lit your family on fire,
And watched eagerly with a crooked smile as they burned to the ground.


03/31/06

I'm empty inside.
A shell of my previous self.
Innocense Lost.
Insensitivity of your actions.
Everything changes in an instant.

Only time will tell.
You've got an uphill battle ahead.
Saying you want to right your wrongs and make it work.
Don't think I'm unaware of your true motives.
Information is shared, opportunities lost.

I don't buy it for one second.
Am I truly worth it?
One last chance.
You are sorry, this I believe.
Sorry that I have the power to speak and be heard.

It is the truth, after all.
I can see you shake.
Coincidence it took a threat to talk?
Not likely.
Keep trying to save yourself while you can.


01/24/06

Thrown into the spotlight of the void,
The night has grown long.
Growing tired of shifting shapes and the sounds of a blur,
Laying among the wreckage.

Suspended in the air, among the breath of the past,
The waves crash over what's left of me.
The moon is misleading, with it's crescent smile,
Caught in the solar crush.

Set aside the nature of the beast,
It's instincts are tangled and worn.
Take pause to consider what's before you,
Assuming you recognize it at all.